You’re going to come across people who are going to try to tell you how to live your life. They will try to make you feel like your choices are stupid or tell you that you’re going to regret it. They will always think that their way is the best way. Some of them may even attempt to make you feel guilty for the choices that you make.
While logically weighing your options is important and necessary, ultimately the decision is yours and not someone else’s. You don’t want to get yourself into a situation where you are going to be solely dependent on someone else, but you also want to make sure you’re making life choices for yourself. Where to go to lunch isn’t that big of a decision LOL. So this post applies more to the bigger and more serious choices.
People are going to try to persuade you that their course of action is the way to go. They love to give their two cents and that is okay. You’ve probably done it yourself a few times. It’s a natural thing. They may have some good input that you could consider in making your decision, but you should also remember that their advice could also be for selfish reasons.
When you finally do come to your decision and are ready to make your choice, remember that you don’t need to justify why you’re doing it. Why should you? What’s the point? They may not understand anyway, especially if you’re going against what they advised you to do. It’s important that you know why you don’t need to justify your choices to anyone.
It’s your life. It’s not theirs. Do you go around telling them how to live? Probably not. If you are one of those people who do, then do they listen to you? Probably not. They live their life the way they want and so should you. You only get one. Don’t spend your life doing what everybody else tells you to. All you will end up with is bitterness and regret. Wouldn’t you rather be proud about what you did do, than sorry about what you didn’t? Do you want to spend a year traveling? Then do it. Do you want to quit your day job and become an acrobat? More power to you. It’s your life to shape and enjoy. Take advantage of your opportunities!
You need to do what makes you happy, not someone else. This pretty much goes hand in hand with it being your life and not theirs. If quitting your job to become an acrobat is going to make you happy, then do it. Someone else convincing you not to isn’t going to make you happy. Odds are if you’re miserable now, then change is the only thing that will help. Listening to someone else and making a decision based off of what they want is only going to make them happy. Not you. It’s your life and it’s your happiness. Do what is going to make you happy. You should enjoy your life.
There will be less second guessing yourself. A lot of times when you try to explain your reasoning to someone, it can raise a lot of questions. It could have sounded a lot better in your head than it did out loud. They could argue your reasoning and make you feel insecure about the decision. Arguing your point could potentially make you start thinking negatively about it or raise some red flags that weren’t there before. You should probably make sure you think it through, but don’t let someone else’s opinion sway your own. If you feel strongly about something, there is probably a reason why. Stick to your guns and make the choice for yourself.
You will feel a whole lot better about the decision and yourself. It’s actually quite liberating to make a decision without justifying it. Yea, people are going to ask you with an incredulous tone why you’re making that decision, but they can ask all they want. “Because I want to,” is a sufficient answer. Leaving it with something so simple is a really great feeling. Sure, you might have a reason for doing something, but you’re not obligated to tell them what it is. Coming from a people pleaser, it could be difficult to not justify yourself at first, but once you stop doing it, you’re going to feel a whole lot better. At the end of the day, the choice is for you and your happiness.
You don’t always need a reason for your choices. It is completely okay to be impulsive if you want to be. You can make a decision to do something without needing a reason. A lot of times we tie our choices back to some big piece of our life. It could be work, family, money, etc. But it doesn’t have to be. It is actually quite exhilarating to make a decision just because that’s what you feel like doing. Like I mentioned earlier though, make sure that you can make it work. You don’t want to make a big decision (like moving or quitting your job) without ensuring that you’ll be able to still support yourself until you figure out your next step. Just make sure that you give yourself that peace of mind before diving in.
Letting go of the notion that you have to justify the reasoning behind everything you do is pretty refreshing. You’re going to be able to make more choices that make you happy and not be so dependent on other people’s ideas of the “right” choice. You don’t need anyone’s approval but your own.